July 13 to 14—Adventures With Cindy and Sheila: High Tea, Night Bazaar, Grand Palace, Monk Absconds With Our Sheila, and Khao San

Dear Family and Friends,

Friday, July 13, marked the 60th birthday of Martha’s Dad, and she thought about him all day, wondering what exciting plans her mom had for the ‘old man’ for the occasion. She certainly wished she could have been home with them to celebrate, but instead, Martha and Dani had the opportunity to see where he and Martha’s mom stayed in Bangkok about 37 years ago (when they were still newlyweds)—the Oriental Hotel. Martha’s dad was stationed in Thailand (in Udon Thani) during the Vietnam War, here called the 'American War,' so exploring this country is particularly neat for her since it holds some of the early history of her parents.

Today, however, we are making contact with someone associated with the generation above Martha’s dad. Cindy Stew, as she is lovingly known in our close circle, met Martha’s grandfather, Capt’n Harry, about seven years ago on the island of Borneo while he was in the process of completing his second solo-circumnavigation of the globe by sailboat. He was just 84 years old then, and Cindy was on a backpacking adventure with her daughter that eventually led her to her new home in Bangkok, where she has lived now for many years. While doing some volunteer work on Borneo, Cindy said “Happy 4th of July” to a gentleman in an Internet café, a man named Capt'n Kirk who then invited her to a celebration on his boat that night. There, she met Capt’n Harry and had to choose between sailing East with Capt'n Harry or West with Capt’n’s friends, Capt’n Kirk and First Mate Catherine. She chose to go to Singapore with Kirk and Catherine, but spent an entire day being grilled on religion and other topics by Martha's wandering grandfather. Even though Cindy and Capt’n only spent a couple of days together, they have kept in contact via email for many years. It was exciting for Martha to make the family connection even more secure over a couple more days of Cindy’s pleasant company!

Martha and Dani met Cindy about 1:40 PM for High Tea at the Oriental Hotel, which is known for its gorgeous interior and the slew of famous authors and playwrights who have worked within the hotel’s walls over the years: Hemingway, Oscar Wilde, George Orwell, Victor Hugo, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, Tolstoy, George Bernard Shaw, Dostoyevsky, Ibsen, Joseph Conrad, and William Somerset Maugham. High Tea with Cindy was an incredible experience, and we appreciated both her company and her treating us so generously. Cindy and Dani both ordered the more traditional European-style tea set while Martha explored the oriental morsels. For four hours we talked about our families, toasting Capt’n for his accomplishments and for bringing us together.

Martha and Dani so enjoyed learning about Cindy’s journey through divorce, away from California and post-9/11 America, and into the Thai world that is now her home. Martha was particularly thankful of Cindy’s sharing of her journey into Buddhism since learning more about Eastern religions is part of what Martha had hoped to gain on this trip. Cindy’s openness, honesty, and friendliness were not lost on us. Our four hours passed too quickly as we sipped Buddha Blue (for Cindy and Martha) and Casablanca (for Dani) teas and nibbled on finger sandwiches of egg or salmon, scones with different jams, and desserts of chocolates, Asian jellies, and other treats—all in the glorious surroundings of this magnificent hotel’s white courtyard, decorated for the day with flowers from a bridal shower that had just dispersed upon our arrival. A Thai gent walked by in his tailored suit, bowtie, and hat, dapper from head to toe. Tourists wandered the halls in bath robes on their way to their day’s massage. A guitarist played from the balcony, adding to the atmosphere of serenity.

As 6 PM passed us by, we wandered through the hotel library to check to make sure Martha’s dad’s recollection that Somerset Maugham was among those who had enjoyed the Oriental Hotel, and couldn’t quite say goodbye to each other yet. So, we hopped into Cindy’s car to head to the Night Bazaar near Lumpini Park, called Suan Lum. Cindy is a cautious driver in this city where folks drive on the left-hand side. She told us the general philosophy of traffic laws in this city: the roadway is like water, and water fits in wherever it can, so the visible lane-dividing lines are not fixed, and road rage is lesser because drivers are letting the water flow freely instead of thinking that someone is cutting them off and doing them some injustice. (Martha and Dani will try to keep that philosophy in mind when returning to New Jersey traffic at the end of the year!) While parking Cindy’s little car in a perfect spot near the bazaar’s main stretch, she told us that often the lots get very full, and people will leave their cars in neutral directly blocking others. That way, people can simply push the car forwards or backwards as needed to allow them to move their car. Once, a friend of Cindy’s forgot to leave his car in neutral and returned to a keyed car!

Cindy informed us that this bazaar has been a part of the city for a long, long time, but is now threatened by developers who would like to use the land to build another mall-type shopping plaza. The event of that stupid indoor arena will be a great loss to the flavor of this city, as the outdoor markets such as Suan Lum are part of what make Bangkok so special and enjoyable. The Night Bazaar is no exception. We loved out time here exploring the rows and rows of goods from wood carvings to Thai silk shirts. Enclosed, probably air conditioned, spaces offered Thai or foot massages at reasonable prices. We learned of a coconut-shell candle holder that we will be on the lookout for in our travels to see if we can pick one up for Cindy. One stall of original photos of orchids, Buddha, monks in action, and elephants presented as one to three panels to hang on the walls particularly caught our interest. Martha and Dani will have to return here to buy some items for folks at home before they leave Bangkok in September, for sure. We hope it’s still there!

After wandering the stalls, we returned to the food court-style area of the bazaar to get a bite to eat (pommes, veggies, and cashews) and to drink a beverage of German beer, mai tai, and G&T (in honor of Capt’n, of course). Here, we also toasted Martha’s dad on his birthday and continued our bonding time. As the evening wore into late-night, Cindy headed back towards her home, a good half hour to two hours away, depending on traffic. Martha and Dani started to walk home, but decided to grab a metered taxi instead for about 40 baht, which was a sound decision as the streets had no sidewalks and construction going on between there and home.

Saturday, July 14 (the two month mark at Day 61), Sheila joined us again for her weekend day, and we headed up to the Grand Palace via metered cab for just 100 baht. Unlike eight years ago, Martha paid for her entrance (as did the other two ladies) at a whopping 250 baht each (and here’s the photo to prove it!). And don’t believe what the lying cabbies and touts say outside, folks, that place is open from 8:30 AM to 3:30 PM every day (and here’s the photo to prove it, too!)!

We enjoyed a slow walk around the grounds, taking lots of photos of the stupa, the model of Ankor Wat in Cambodia, the paintings depicting the folklore of the Ramayana (the Thai version of the Indian story of King Rama), stone statues of Chinese warlords and doggies, tall statues of Thai guardians, the ornate decorations on everything on the grounds, and each other in this magnificent back drop. We took several moments to stop and listen to the monks chanting to the Buddhist devotees who had gathered for the Buddha Day festivities that day. Sheila told us of the Indian version of Rama’s story as we perused the many ornate paintings on the interior walls. Some of the paintings were in the process of being revised, so scaffolding, paint, and brushes littered the scene in sections.

In Wat Phra Kaew, home of the Emerald Buddha, we took a few moments to appreciate the most famous of Buddha in all of Thailand, said to have been found hidden and originally thought to be made of emerald, although it is really made of jade. Each change of season, the king himself changes the garb of the Emerald Buddha. No photos are supposed to be taken of the inside of the Wat once past the main doors, and Martha was asked to leave (in Thai), pretty forcefully when a guard thought that she might be trying to sneak in a shot. Dani was much stealthier and got a few from her seated position. A man seated behind us simply held his camera over his head and snapped away.

When the other two ladies joined Martha outside, we all continued towards the main government building on the grounds (called 'Western Man With a Thai Hat'), which is an interesting mix of Thai and European styles. ‘Guards’ were everywhere in the forms of statues and images of men with weapons painted on the doorways. Chinese men in full weaponry stood beside doorway after doorway, eternally eyeing the visitors to the Grand Palace grounds. Dragons and yellow-beaked birds in mosaic stood watch over doorways. Sheila got a shot or two in with some of the guards as they stoically stood watch over the entrances protecting the VIPs within.

Martha enjoyed taking photos of images previously seen, including a small mountain around the bend where a shrine to former kings stands. Dani and Martha posed for photos by the Chinese doggies, appreciating that Sheila wanted to take the time to make sure we had some pictures together. Likewise, we took a few shots of Sheila to make sure we remember what she looks like. *grin* By the palace museum (which we can return to view another day with our ticket stubs), we found cannons and steel balls displayed powerfully in an alleyway, but opted for lunch instead of the museum today.

Our lunch quest took us back into the markets between Tha Tien and Thammasat University, and we stopped first at a woman's pushcart to get refreshing iced coffee and iced Thai tea, served in a plastic bag with lots of ice. We wandered a bit more among the amulets and found ourselves eventually in a little alley-way place with air conditioning for lunch. It was a pretty quick meal as we were trying to get to Wat Mahathat around 2 PM to meet up with Cindy Stew for the English-language discourse on Buddhist meditation. When Cindy encouraged Martha and Dani to attend this session the day before, she said it started at 3 PM, but we wanted to make sure not to miss it, so arrived early. We found a group of nuns and female laypeople scattered on the floor at the temple in Wat Mahathat, listening to the teachings of a monk. Many sat in quiet meditation; others seemed to see the afternoon as a more social gathering, chit chatting with each other with toes pointed in various positions away from the Buddha that sat center-stage. Martha and Dani got settled to do some meditating of their own (Cindy had given them a few basic pointers of focused meditation the day before), while Sheila ‘went to call Chom,’ who would be in the area for the afternoon. Time passed quickly behind closed eyes, and Sheila did not return. As 3 PM approached, Dani ducked out to see about the meditation class, returning and tapping Martha on the shoulder to bring her outside.

“What should be do about Sheila not coming back? We said we’d wait for her here,” asks Martha.

“Let’s do a quick check to the market and then head over to the session. We can check back here occasionally, and hopefully she’ll know that we’ll be back to where we last saw her,” Dani responds smartly.

No view of our roommie in the phone booth just outside of the Wat grounds. It’d be hellacious to try to find her in the market. Maybe she went to meet up with Chom somewhere? But we have her purse … so probably her house keys. And we said that we would attend the session …

Martha headed in to sit and join the meeting entitled “Understanding Buddhism” (SCORE!), while Dani returned once more to our original meeting place. Martha introduced herself among the other discussion participants (apparently every other week, there is an open forum for Buddhism learning as opposed to the platform of meditation instruction), who ranged from life-long Buddhists (Thai and Indian) to international students to folks like already-seated Cindy Stew who are more involved with this particular school of monks to clueless visitors like Martha. Dani was ushered into the room as she passed by hoping to glance in to see if Sheila was already in attendance.

Reverend Bundy, an Englishman of Western-style Buddhist upbringing, began the discussion by telling us a folk tale to demonstrate some of the basics to Buddhist life and practice, called The Queen Bee. It told the story of the humble, smallest, youngest of three brothers, who saved critters from harm from his two older siblings and then was able to disenchant a castle where people were turned to stone with the aid of the critters he had shown kindness towards. So it was not even that he was capable of doing miraculous things on his own, but that his perpetual acts of loving-kindness were the key to his success and happiness. (That’s the gist that Martha got, anyway.)

Dani ducked out once again to try to find Sheila, as Martha was picked first to give a general overview of what she thought when considering Buddhist practice. “I come from a Christian tradition, and find great worth in that faith, yet I keep a wood carving of Buddha by my bed to remind me each day to try to keep my life as simple as possible, and that the things that surround me do not make up who I am. I’m excited at the topic of this discussion, actually, because I am here to better understand Buddhism, and look forward to learning from the rest of the folks in the room.” (Surely not originally stated as well, but you get it.)

In the meantime, a monsoon downpour drenched the world outside of our air-conditioned conference room, and Dani returned drenched and alone. She sat for several more minutes as others in the group talked of their faith and some of the aspects of Buddhism that perplexed them: “If one of the five precepts is not to kill, then how can you eat meat?” (for example), which brought about a longer discussion about the life of the monk, the tradition of meat-eating being associated with healthfulness in Thai culture, and the act of receiving food from villagers and having to eat whatever is offered, which includes meat products. A gentleman from Bombay of Mahayana Buddhism-background (as opposed to the Theravada Buddhism practiced throughout Thailand) stopped the discussion finally by stating that this was a trivial part of the Buddhist practice, perhaps 10% of the focus, whereas the other 90% is much more important, such as the mindfulness to be gained through meditation. There are five basic precepts that laypeople following Buddhism are called to follow in the quest to reduce self- and world-suffering; monks are encouraged to follow 227 precepts!

A concept that Dani enjoyed from the lesson was the concept of letting go. If someone angers you, they have hurt you for five minutes; if you stay angry through the afternoon, you have hurt yourself for five hours. Dani hopes to keep this thought with her as future touts attempt to swindle her, and remember that she has not suffered for more than five minutes with each of the two dealings with being 'had' in previous days, but their lives are no doubt much more difficult than hers.

Dani had ducked out once again … but this time, returned with SHEILA!! YAY!! Martha was so very relieved. And apparently, so was Sheila. Just having entered the room, Sheila was called upon to speak, and returned an elegant query about the values of ritual in both the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Cindy focused on the practical qualities of her life in Buddhism and the benefits of a more mindful life. Dani talked about the ripple effect that Buddhists are conscious of—that even before they knew of the microorganisms in puddles many monks would avoid walking through them so as not to disrupt the ecosystem. With each comment, our understanding of Buddhism deepened, and by the end of the session, our brains were full of interesting thoughts, like what had happened to Sheila, anyway??

Sheila had headed to the bathroom after leaving us at the temple. As she exited, she encountered an 80-year-old monk, who absconded with our Sheila to a coffee shop deep within the maze of the market!! She didn’t quite know if perhaps he was taking her to meet up with Martha and Dani, or how to say that she couldn’t go with him, and once in the coffee shop, that she didn't want to drink anything; the shop owner even said, “He does this about once a day to some foreigner.” The monk did not speak much English, but managed to try to get Sheila’s address in America and to order her a Nescafe. Before she knew it, a lot of time had passed. She returned to the temple, and found us gone. She went towards the exit and asked if anyone had seen us. “They headed into the market.” That was the straw that broke the Sheila’s back. Returning to the temple, imagining us wandering the market looking for her and missing our day’s activities, and worrying because she had no keys and no money, Sheila broke down crying. The nuns did everything they could to console her, telling her that her ‘sisters’ would be back in four minutes and that she should sit down and meditate with them. How is it possible to sit and meditate when your roommates are lost in the market looking for you? Nothing helped until, about four minutes later, Dani showed up again!!! All was well!! Sheila and Dani walked the grounds of the temple until fully calmed and then returned to the meeting to learn about Buddism (and perhaps how to meditate when in calamity).

Beautifully, we could all laugh about it by the time the meeting let out and the four of us headed up to see the nearby backpacker’s haven of Th Khao San. Martha seemed to need to keep an extra eye on our ‘little sister’ for the afternoon, and Sheila didn’t seem to mind that so very much. On Khao San, we encountered two friends of Cindy’s among the street’s wanderers and took a break in the air conditioning of Starbucks to enjoy chit chatting some more in a quiet atmosphere. Martha and Cindy talked more about Buddhist practice and meditation while Dani and Sheila talked about whether they would go for their body-hair waxing on Khao San. Cindy had to leave around 8 PM to get her car out of hock, and it was sad to see her go, but Martha penciled in a couple of dates between now and our departure back to Europe, so we should see Cindy Stew again in the not-so-distant future to continue our blooming frienship!!

And so our three roommies headed back into the streets lined by vendors and crowded with travelers. Martha waited, watching the streetlife, while her two friends went off to de-hair. By the time they returned, Martha had spent some cash, too, buying three necklaces made predominantly of coconut to commemorate our time together through the coconut grove and so far this weekend.

Hungry once again, we enjoyed some Indian food before catching a fun tuk-tuk ride home for about 100 baht! Dani headed to bed while Martha and Sheila stayed up decompressing religions into the wee hours. What an adventurous day!!

Much love … and a wee bit wariness for absconding monks!

Martha and Dani